Recollections of long Past Christmas'

For the last few days I have been reflecting on how my life has changed this last year, since Gabriella made her first appearance in my life. Before I had time lots and lots of time...time to do whatever I wanted but now all I want is to live my days by her side. Sickening right? But so very true. Lately, there are times when I feel a little trapped which can sometimes happen when your life changes so drastically but somehow I would never change a thing. I have her laughter, love, and companionship to make me realize that how important each day really is.

I was finally putting away Christmas decorations today...yes, I'm that person with Christmas cheer lingering long after Christmas is over. Gabriella was helping me and I thought how different, how amazing my life is now. Taking down each ornament, I reminisced silently about how each one came into my life and then I lingered on the ornament that said baby's first Christmas. I thought decades from then, on some far away Christmas I would be able to remember that sweetness of her first Christmas and know that she was the light in an otherwise dim time. Christmas lights aside, she will always be that light. She has renewed everything inside me, my desire for goodness in myself and those around me, my longing for something more than mundane in this world, and most of all my connection to my own mother, good or bad as it was.

I only know that as she stands next to me and mutters Ma-ma-Ma-ma that I will be a far better mother than my own. I will love her faults and all. I will nurture her spirit and make her understand that when she falters, I will always be there. My only wish this Christmas was for her to be happy and healthy and to know love for the rest of her days. At least I know I will know love every second, every breathe I take with her little hands holding one of mine...

After this reminiscence I looked over and there was Gabby, smile on her face dancing with the sparkly garland in her arms, laughing all the way...Yep, gotta love the Goo, especially as in her laughing fit I hear her mutter Ma-ma once more. I thought, yes the best Christmas ever, each and every Christmas with her, my sweet Gabriella...for all the rest of my days...